QUICK QUIZ – Circle the correct answer.
In bed, I am most like:
- Mother Theresa
- Kim Kardashian (with Ray J not Kanye)
- Gabrielle Union (have you heard the girl talk about a healthy sex life!?)
When you’re in a marriage or long-term relationship, keeping it spicy in the bedroom can sometimes feel like a full-time job, or worse, another dang chore. But it doesn’t have to be. Sex is s’posed to be fun, remember? No one is asking you to swing from the rafters in fur-lined handcuffs (unless you can afford them and, of course, want to), but there is one way to … use the star system!
Put your overachieving habits to work in the bedroom. Go for the gold, honey. As in Gold Stars.
Here’s how: Remember those stars at the top of your spelling test that your kindergarten teacher used to give you for a job well done? Yep. Those little stickers. I want you to march your little determined self over to the closest dollar store and buy a pack of star stickers. And while you’re there, buy a calendar or a yearly planner or a cute little journal. Whatever works best for you. (Or you can order my Planner. Just visit the store on powerfulpenny.com)
Once home, I want you to set a GOAL for how many times a month you and your hubby will have sex. (I’ll let you two define your own definition of what “sex” means in your bedroom.) For every moment of coital coziness that occurs, reward yourself with a Gold Star. Bada bing, bada boom: you are now officially SEX STARS! And everybody is walking around smiling. Trust me, this sooo works!
See how many stars you can get in a week (or during a weekend) and count them toward your monthly goal. Fun, right? Keep your calendar or cute little journal next to your bed so that you can keep track quickly and easily. Still not sold? [Sigh] Let me help you out, it goes a little somethin’ like this:
It’s a Tuesday night. You’re in bed snuggled deep under the covers fully ensconced in your favorite sweatshirt and perfectly stretched stretch pants. You feel that familiar poke that means you’re being summoned for some lovin’. Now is when you picture your little Gold Star just gleaming on your calendar. You’re a winner. You like to win. A page FULL of stars says you sooo still got it and that he sooo still wants it! So go for that Gold Star, girl! Go get it, and get it good! Let me know how the star system works for you by leaving your comments below!