Quiz TRUE OR FALSE:
- I trust that people will do as they say.
- I trust that I make good decisions.
- I trust those “Debbie Doubtful” voices in my head more than my super instinct.
- I rely solely on emotions to help me make decisions.
I’m hoping that you answered a resounding “True!” to the first two statements and a big ole “False” to the second two. If you didn’t, don’t worry, the world isn’t going to end…but, you may have some goings on with trust in your relationships and within yourself that you may want to examine.
If you were a Brownie, you might remember the Brownie Smile Song that goes:
I’ve got something in my pocket, it belongs across my face.
I keep it very close at hand, in a most convenient place.
I’m sure you couldn’t guess it if you guessed a long, long while.
So I’ll take it out and put it on, it’s a Great Big Brownie Smile!
This secret smile and having it in your pocket makes me think about trust and having that in your back pocket. Trust is as powerful a tool as a smile. If you can trust in people, situations, and yourself, you are 90% ahead of this game called life.
But how can we learn to trust? Somewhere along the way, your trust was betrayed. It could have been that time when you were five years old, and you reached up for your dad’s hand and it wasn’t there. Or, that time when you trusted your teacher to call on you to erase the board and she chose someone else instead. Or you trusted that guy you met in line at the bank to call you for a date and he never called.
These examples can seem trivial, but they are the type of experiences that plant a seed of mistrust in your emotional garden. What constitutes growth in yourself is how you move past these moments, how you manage to pull out the weeds that choke your trust, or how you don’t give these doubts any shine to flourish.
For example, every guy now who asks for your number is NOT that guy at the bank. You must give each occasion its own chance. Yes, you’ve gotta learn from mistakes and recognize behavior to not repeat and reward, but you can’t go through life not trusting in the potential good of the next guy or you’ll never go out again, much less get married and have five kids.
Same for the teacher not choosing you to erase the board. That minor example may have colored your trust in authority, like a boss or a voting board. You may have a sneaking suspicion that someone is not going to choose you for something, and you may subconsciously have a dialogue running through your head that you’re not going to get something you truly want and you’ll project mistrust on people and situations. Can you see how easily the feelings of mistrust can weave themselves into the fabric of your being?
Now, it’s up to you to realize that when you walk in trust, you walk hand-in-hand with your best friend (that can be YOU). Trust yourself that you will make the right decisions and take the correct actions. Trust in others that they will do the right thing and come through for you. Practicing Mindfulness offers some wonderful tools to help you so that you can build and enjoy lasting, loving and trusting relationships.