RELATIONSHIPS - menopause and f**k water


Yep, hold onto your Spanx. We’re going there again, ladies. You know I like to keep it real, and menopause is the real deal. Holler if you hear me!

Sex is an important part of a relationship, right? Well, when you’re going through menopause, sometimes the thought of sex can be the farthest thing from your mind, and THAT can wreak havoc on your relationship. Why? Because when Aunt Flow decides to pack up her bags and go for good, she takes a lotta stuff with her, like the kitchen sink and the water that was in it!

When I knew I was going through menopause, emotionally I was like, “Bye bye!!” and was happy about it. I had my kid. I had had enough of all the other stuff that comes with that time of the month. I was happy. People will tell you that you’ll be happy. But there are a couple things, ladies, that NO ONE tells you. Like, no one told me my v-jay jay would dry up without warning. Literally overnight. NO one told me that. When I tell you that sex was like having a maid wiping down the kitchen sink with sand paper, REALLY HARD, that’s not even close to how painful sex became without warning.

Luckily, I could tell my newlywed husband. I was like, “Honey, she’s broken…!” And that’s when I found F**k Water, a water-based lube that sorta saved my life. There are others out there, but this one does the trick for me.

As you’re navigating your way through what to expect when you’re no longer expecting Aunt Flow, here are a few more solutions to help get rid of your personal Sahara Desert:

  1. Try supplements: Megaflora probiotic supplement (by Megafood) and Nature’s Way: Fortify, womens’ probiotic. These can help with vaginal health and help put the moisture back where it used to be. (These are two that I like.)
  2. Talk to your doctor about a prescription. He or she will likely suggest a pill or cream that includes estrogen or hormones. Just know the risks. I got the prescription. Then read the side affects. And opted not to try it. Yes, I’m a chicken when it comes to dying (even for good sex).
  3. Try natural remedies: Vitamin E (increases blood supply), Maca (raises estradiol), and Vitamin D (decreases vaginal pH and dryness) are some you can try.

If you’re experiencing this, I beg you to talk to someone and take action. There’s no reason for you to suffer. Really. And if you’re in a relationship, don’t be embarrassed to talk to your partner. He needs to know how you’re feeling because he could easily attribute you pulling away as a sign of disinterest, displeasure with him, or worse. No good man wants to see his good woman in pain. Work this out together so that you can start getting it on again. Joyfully!


  1. I have had the privilege of saying goodbye to Aunt Flow for over 5 years now. It has been a journey that started out very rough and she made up for it at the end. I haven’t experienced hotflashes or painful dryness. She left for about 6 months and came back once to visit and that was it. She left like a lady with Grace (sorry Cheryl) and the only thing I have had is about a 20 lb weight gain which I am currently losing. I have heard and witnessed painful departure stories. My heart goes out to all who are going thru the pain.

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