Let's have some real talk about things that are STILL happening in the workplace.
STILL! The fascination that other cultures find with Black women's hair. So much so, they want to reach out and touch it.
Now, I'm a friendly, open book kind of girl, who is all about human connection, getting touchy-feely with pals, and hugging it out when times get tough. But when I was in corporate America and it came to my hair (which I change often), I gave off all kinds of "Please don't touch my hair" vibes. Okay, not just at work, at home too. (Just ask my husband who I never want to muss it up!)
But at work I found myself flat out defensive when it came to my lovely fellow humans with paler complexions wanting to lay hands on my hair.
There's nothing more chilling then sitting in a conference room on a bright and sunny Monday morning, feeling peacock pleased about the new coiffure your stylist spent hours creating the previous Saturday morning when a well-intentioned colleague plops down next to you and gushes, "Oh, my God, YOUR HAIR! It's so beautiful!" and the next thing you know her hand comes snaking towards your crown like a stealthy ninja because she just wants to "see what it feels like."
Let's pause right here.
I KNOW I am not the only Black woman in corporate America who has been caught off guard by a similar moment, and I know how awkward these situations can be. So I wanted to provide possible ways you can handle the situation that won't get YOU hauled into HR, the hospital emergency room because you sprain your neck from swerving it so hard to give your co-worker the "Are you crazy?" look, or worse, the police station ... because you know, a girl's gotta do what a girls gotta do to protect herself.Â
Here are three tips for handling the mane situation.
1. Humorous – "Hey there, I appreciate your curiosity, but my hair's like a museum exhibit right now – just look, but no touching, please! I've got a 'no touch' policy even the Mona Lisa would envy."
2. Corporate speak – "I really appreciate your interest, but my hair is something that's quite personal to me. It's important for me to have boundaries when it comes to physical contact, so I kindly ask that we refrain from touching each other's hair. I hope you understand.
3. Informative – "Thank you for the compliment. You may not know this but hair holds a lot of cultural significance for me because Blacks have historically faced objectification and dehumanization due to our physical attributes, including our hair. Touching my, or any Black woman's hair, without consent can bring back memories of this dehumanizing past. You don't ever have permission to touch someone's hair without their consent. And I hope this is helpful should you find yourself in another tempting situation."
Even having to address the elephant in the room, however you choose to do so, can feel uncomfortable and flat out exhausting. After all, we don't go to work every day to teach history, manners, or most basic common sense when it comes to boundaries. That's not why we were hired.Â
But know this: Your hair is not a petting zoo. Nor is it, regardless of the style – braids, afros, twists, locs, flat-ironed, curly, or natural – a new species discovered by science.
It's hair, people! Not someone else's personal stress-relief puppy. It's a part of your body and unwanted touching of any part of our body makes us feel objectified and uncomfortable.
So you have every right to say, "Hell No! You Can't Touch My Hair!"Â
I HOPE YOU ENJOYED THE ARTICLE!Â
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This newsletter is for the Black female corporate professional and others who want to unapologetically create the career she SAYS she wants and deserves.
Executive coach Cheryl Grace shares a curation of thoughts, articles, interviews, trends, strategies, and tactics that can help women advance to their next professional level, wherever they fall on their career journey. Weekly emphasis is on Confidence, Curiosity, Case Studies, Connections, and Course of Action.
“My focus, as always, is on how we can most skillfully ascend the corporate ladder with an air of grace and fabulosity.”
Five Core Components
We will publish a new newsletter each week on Monday morning. Topics will be centered around five core competencies:
Confidence
The lack of confidence can derail anyone at any stage of their career. But we won’t let that happen. Not under our watch. Amp up your confidence with quick hacks, strategies, methods and mindset changes.
Curiosity
Author Billy Cox once said, “Replace fear of the unknown with curiosity.” Often it’s fear of the unknown that holds us back. Here, we will demystify things we’re curiously afraid of and have fun while we are doing it. (Technology, Sustainability, Financials, DEI, etc.)
Case Studies
There is always someone who has that which you are aspiring to be/do/have. There’s no need to reinvent the wheel, but rather learn from women of color who have successfully exited the Struggle Bus in a multitude of areas. We will interview a woman of color each week, alternating between a badass woman who is currently DOING it; and an older badass woman who has already DONE it, ensuring readers are presented with diversity of ethnicities, experience and thoughts.
Connections
Networking is critical to career success. Topics under this umbrella focus on how to develop long-term professional relationships that can propel you forward and last the life of your career.
Course of Action
So how do you DO what’s necessary to LevelUP? Here you’ll discover the tactics, strategies and action steps you need to implement in order to advance through the various stages of your career.
Hi, I'm Cheryl Grace!
The CEO of Powerful Penny LLC, an executive coaching, consulting, and lifestyle firm. As a Black woman who rose to the executive ranks of corporate America, I understand both sides of the corporate ladder.
I know the frustration of a person of color attempting to climb that ladder.
As a former corporate executive, I also know the importance of having a strong bench of qualified, diverse associates to consider for promotions.
I am uniquely positioned to break through the communication barriers that can exist between employees and employers. And help corporations as well as individuals obtain the goals that mean the most to you and your employees which may be preventing a positive increase in retention rates and hindering your abilitiy to promote from within.
